Healing Your Broken Soul

I can use all the fancy words in the dictionary, however an apple is still an apple. 

I can sum this all up with one word...HEALING... The most painful, hardest thing you will ever do.

You'll be facing shadows from every corner of your soul. Not a hint of light to be found.

You'll sob and sob. You'll curl up like a fetus, and wish to be gone from this world. Yet you hold onto the little bit of hope that you have left... all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed.

THEN.....THE MAGIC BEGINS.....

That first hit of light that shines through the crack, your eyes burn, your tears stop, you lift your head up. You smile for the first time in months.  I mean, a true genuine smile. It starts in your toes and you feel in your ears. You have awakened the  soul that had been lost. You stand a little taller, square your shoulders back. Your chin is no longer facing the ground, your eyes start to shine, a sparkle that was lost returns. You are filled with perseverance and hope.   

The biggest part of MY personal healing journey, was to retreat and go within. Our conscious and sub conscious mind hold all the answers we will ever need.  You need quiet.  One thing that comes with quiet is silence. The  distancing from all around you.  Some will call you rude, self absorbed, ruthless, they will feel rejected and abandoned. Your people will still be there when you return from the "silence" and the ones who are not, need to stay gone. 

I have learned so much these past Five years.  Where I have dug deep into who I am.  I know my worth.  I don't need anyone to hold my hand, give me validation. I can do it on my own.  I am independent, I work hard for the knowledge I posses. I work hard to be  the best Mother I can be.  I work hard to be the best friend to my friends.  I cherish me. Through my healing journey, the one phrase I kept saying to myself, even when tears were streaming down my face...."What's meant for me, will not pass me by" 

I have never been one to ask  for help. Even as my children's father abandoned them. I did it alone.  We were never wealthy. I can assure you, my children were the wealthiest children.  When it came to love,adoration,harmony and peace, they were the richest. Something that will be carried down to their own families. 

 The smile on their face now, as they enter adulthood makes me so proud. They never did without. That alone is a true reflection of the power we hold. They were and are my strength, my joy, the loves of my life. They kept me going. Now, I keep myself going. The pleasure and peace they bring. I could not be more proud.  

The past few days, I've been going down rabbit holes after rabbit holes. Always learning. After years of going deep within, I have answers. I've read and read, I've listened to podcast after podcast. Then I stumbled upon Carl Jung- Swiss Psychiatrist and Psychotherapist. He believed, diving deep into our shadows we can heal. Live the life we are meant to.  He was not a pill pusher, he frowned against it, said it was only an aid to function,not to heal.  As I read I listened. 

I realized I did everything he was describing, I had the knowledge within me. As do you.

I wasn't projecting any negativity, I was owning my mistakes and failures. Seeing the lessons each one brought. Recognizing the patterns I kept repeating...I stayed motivated kept diving deeper. I became self-aware, reflective and sensitive. 

My silence was deafening. Probably the hardest thing I have ever done.

Silence is the mastery of one's energy. Carl G. Yung

Silence is a Psychological weapon:

NOT:  passive or cowardice

BUT:  strategic and brutally lucid

NOT:  absence

BUT:  Amplified presence

NOT:  as a void

BUT:  as a fertile ground

When we stop reacting, we start to observe. Not only others actions but ours as well.  We start to see patterns that have gone unnoticed.

1. Emotional Repetitions

2. Manipulation Games

3. Cycles of self Sabotage

Only in silence can you truly listen to yourself without any interference.

What silence teaches you:

1.silence is an energetic investment

2. Not everyone deserves access to your truth

3.silence is not a retreat, but that of sovereignty

4. silence is uncomfortable

5. silence reconnects you to your essence

6. Silence helps you claim your energy and set boundaries

7. silence teaches you control

We all want to live a life we choose. It all starts with you taking that first  step. We have one life to live. 

If you wait for roast duck to fly into your mouth, you will be waiting a long long time.

I have faith that you to can face your shadows and become the person you are destined to be.

We all crave that soul deep love with another.  First we need to  give ourselves the soul deep love, we will then know what we are looking for and I promise you it will be worth it!

I won't give up- Jason Mraz

much love, 

Carrie